She looked at me now, saw something in my face. ‘I’m sorry. I’m in a shit mood.’ ‘It’s okay. Really it is. I feel like shit too.’ Something made me not look away. Things unknown were breaking in my chest and my eyes began to sting. I didn’t know what was happening but I knew this: I cared for Kim and I wanted her to be happy. ‘Yeah why? You’ve got everything to live for.’ She smiled wryly. ‘Me? Are you kidding? I’m a fuckin mess Kim.’ She smiled and looked down. No! I don’t want this to be about me. Cheer her up mate – say something! ‘What pisses you off the most?’ ‘Everything. I hate everything. My job. My bullshit life. I’m a fucking nobody.’ ‘You have friends Kim. I like you. Your mum loves you. You have a great sense of humour. You’re kind.’ She laughs at me, it’s a sudden and sharp burst of ridicule. She stops it as quickly as she started and again she looks down. She knows that hurt me. She’s probably feeling worse now. I know that I’m speaking shit, it’s not working. How can. It was a 5 minute walk to the tube station and the usual overcrowded platform and train awaited me. I pushed my way through the crowds and eventually reached the station and joined the queue at the escalator, descending down to the especially busy platform. Despite the weather outside, the station felt uncomfortably hot so I loosened my coat then my tie.I hated travelling on the tube everyday but thankfully I only had 4 stops before I could leave the tube at my overground terminal. I waited for the next train and within 2 minutes it arrived already crammed with passengers looking as fed up as I felt. I managed to squeeze onto the train as the doors closed behind me and with a jolt the train moved away. It was impossible not to have bodily contact with those closest to you in this situation and over the years I have had many a hard on when "accidentally" rubbing up against women crushed against me. Some of them knew and played the game moving in time with the train feeling a hard cock.
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